Thursday, June 12, 2008

Autowrench Commercial (& Guy)

Today I thought I'd present my findings in the form of a frame-by-frame rundown of the situation. If I may?

U.S. Autowrench Commercial
Frames 1 - 5
Narrator: "Because the Problem with Adjustable Wrenches..."
"Bob" (Name not given in commercial) is probably thinking this (internal dialog not given in commercial): *Hmm, this shower head is a little loose...*
Bob: *Well, let's put this Adjustable Wrench to work." Bob: (turns) *...Well, that was way too lose! It didn't tighten anything!! What a worthless piece of scrap metal!* Bob: *How the heck do you work, anyways?*Bob: *Grrr...Stupid wrench, I'll MAKE you work!*Frames 6 - 10
Narrator: "...is the adjustable part."
Bob: *Alright, let's try this again...*

Bob: *A big windup for a big tightening--that makes sense, right?--and a big, quick turn to tighten! One...two...*
Bob: *thrREEE!!*Bob: *My Wrench!* Toilet: *Yum*
Bob: *Craaaaaaap.* Frames 11 - 14
Narrator: "That's why Black & Decker Created the Autowrench."
Bob: *Hey, this seems kinda cool...all you have to do is press a button (maybe two)!*

Bob: *Hey, this is easy! Unlike that WORTHLESS adjustable wrench!*
Bob: *Click! Haha!*Bob: *Mom will be so proud of me when she figures out I fixed our showerhead! Oh, and note to self: have a talk with that guy from the hardware store that sold me that old adjustable wrench. And since this is America, I'll sue--and win!*

Wait, he's loosening the show head? He was trying to TIGHTEN it a second ago! That's how it flipped around and got into the toilet! What in the WORLD?!
...
*sigh*
Let's just go over the commercial's blatant message of "It's not your fault you don't have basic motor skills--it's the WRENCH'S fault for being so gosh-darn complicated!"
Yes, it's the wrench's fault that you not only weren't able to get it to tighten onto the bolt or get the bolt to tighten, but also flung it into the TOILET (TOILET!!!) because you have no concept of torque, force or tightening!
What has the world come to?
Actually, the better term probably should be "What has America come to?"--I checked Youtube to see if I could pull up the video, but all I could find were the European version and the Spanish version. I used the European version to pull the images off of, and here's the source:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=5j-1B1E-Ef4
As you can see, this version blames it on the USER--"Because sometimes, you're all fingers and thumbs...".
So I actually still have faith in humanity.

Overall Gross Incompetence Rating:

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